3 Months.

It's been 3 months babe. I love you, I really do.
I'd climb mountains, swim oceans, run highways just to be with you.
The only thing I wouldn't ever do.. is leave you.

Something isn't right...

I think I'm starting to overreact again. It maybe be a good thing... it may not...
Something just doesn't feel right. You refuse to charge and use your phone. You make me feel like I'm useless. I can't entertain you, I can't make you laugh, it's like you've changed after the cruise... as if I've changed. As days go by, I want to see you.. more and more... but at the same time I'm afraid to ask because I'm afraid its not what you want. I want this.. I want that but I can never find it in myself to ever ask. When you ask for something I don't hesitate to do what you say. And I don't have a problem with that, I love you
-oh, you just blew into the mic.. thanks.. LOL-

anyway, I don't even know why I'm complaining. If I love you so much... there shouldn't be a problem. I shouldn't even need to blog about my problems.. how sad is that? lol

Babe all I need right now, is a sign. Something you can show me that your love for me is still strong. I used to come to you and look towards you for strength to keep me going but lately.. I've turned only to see nothing. I want you in my life. I want to be the one that sits next to you when you first learn how to drive and yell at you while you run a red light. I want to help you move into your apartment when you get out of highschool. I want to ditch a night out with my friends and stay home with you and watch movies all night long until we fall asleep into each other's arms. I want to come over and fix your faucet when it starts leaking for no apparent reason. I want to be the one you call over at 4 in the morning to comfort you because you had a really bad dream. I want to be on one knee, telling you the 4 words that ever girl wishes to hear. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I'm still young and naive, and who knows what'll happen in 10 years from now. But this is what I want now.

I might feel this sudden... negative feeling about how you're kinda pulling yourself away from me but if something's wrong babe, we'll make this work. We've always have, and we always will.

wtf is wrong with me

Just because something isn't important to you and doesn't mean as much to you doesn't mean it's the same to me. The past few nights, I can't fall asleep. Sometimes I don't fall asleep. It's not even a habit, the truth is I just need you. I'm being freaking selfish right now but I would doze off at night only to snap awake to see you haven't called.
It's stupid because all this is partially my fault. I can't find it in myself to tell you probably because I want you to know... without directly tell you.

You complete me

All my life, before I met you, I never needed to live for anything or anyone. I didn't need to work my butt of for someone to make them happy and to make myself happy. I just.. lived.

But because of you, I have a reason to live now. I went through a week without you.. I thought to myself, I've never been this dependent before, I lived perfectly fine before I met you, and that there's no point getting depressed because I knew you would come back... it's not like I'm LOSING you. Truth is: I believe you complete me. From the "awkward" way you walk when you wear shoes to your mesmerizing smile, every part of you completes me. I won't say you're my other half, because you're not. You're a part of me and I know you'll always be.
I don't say I love you for the sake of saying it, to start a conversation, or merely because it's out of habit. I say it to remind you, to remind me of how important you are and how special you are to me.
I love you babe. You have my heart in your hands, and I know I have yours. I'm going to care for you and love you, we're gonna make this last. I know we will.

Days Without Jessica: 0

Happy 12 Weeks

Norwegian Star boat arrives Seattle at 8:00 AM.
I've been waiting almost a week for this.

Days Without Jessica: 6

About 2-3 more days?

I dunno when you're coming back, but I'm here until you do. Hope you're having fun, I love you.

Days Without Jessica: 5

Wednesays

I usually have piano lesson on wednesdays... funny part is I really really dislike it. I don't know why.. I love playing the piano, but I hate the fact of going to lessons. It's just so bleh and I wanna break someone's jaw lol.

Anyway, went to work all day and just got home. Pretty tired, yet pretty energized. My life's pretty content and complete right now. I'm just missing one thing, and hopefully I'll have her back by the end of the week...

I miss you.

Days Without Jessica: 4

Tired

Work was so tiring today.
Ima try and sleep early? Peace.

Days Without Jessica: 3

Yes!

Finally ordered a laptop.

Days Without Jessica: 2

So much of today reminded me of you.

Today was weird... time after time I would run into things such as a pork bun, which Jessica LOVES to eat, would remind me of her and make me miss her more and more.
I miss her. Nuff said.

Days Without Jessica: 1

It hasn't even been 24 hours yet...

It hasn't even been 24 hours yet and I already miss Jessica like there's no tomorrow.
I guess its a good thing we're getting spread apart because it makes me appreciate and love her so much more...
All day I kinda just moped around and tried to find things to keep me busy, keep me occupied so that I wouldn't always think about her when I was bored.
Only a week left... I can do this.

Days Without Jessica: 0

10 Hours Left

I have 10 hours left with Jessica until she's gone for a whole week...
I miss her already just thinking about the fact that she's going to be gone... Originally I planned on calling her via voicemails but unfortunately I get internationally charged for sending voicemails to her. One email a day, one blog a day, I guess I'll do that (even though she doesn't' even know this blog exists...). Lately my love for her has been growing, more and more. All summer, I've spent everyday with her, whether it be just 30 min or the whole day, I haven't went through a single day without her. I honestly don't know how content and happy I'll stay without seeing her for a whole week...

I hope you have fun though honey. I trust you and I know you'll reject any boy that tries to hit on you (you sexy thing ;D). And I'll do the same, if a girl gives me the eye, I'll give here a kick in the face for trying to even tempt me D:

I love you Jessica.

Days Without Jessica: 0

Good morning ;D

Life's been good.
Picked up my registration packet yesterday and got a few new clothes here and there as well.
So far so good, for now.

I'm edging closer and closer to my laptop. Hopefully I'll have it by the end of the week, but who knows. I think I've been doing everything I can, I haven't done anything bad so all I can do is cross my fingers.

I want to be able to wake the whole week before school off. Get back into a school like circadian rhythm and what not. Summer's been really dull, I WANT school to start already.

It's been a few days.

We reached our 10 week mark yesterday. It feels like a long time... yet at the same time, feels like it was just recently did we get together. I couldn't ask for anyone better.
Funny how at the same day, we get into our first little fight. They say the first one is always the worst one but I don't think it was that bad... hopefully if we ever do get in a fight again, it won't be bad at all.

It's August 8, 2009 and it's 9:34 AM. I don't think I'm going to work this morning. I'll probably work the night shift because Jessica's going to be fishing anyway. Hopefully I'll make the best of this morning and we have some time together, then again, her family's home and her family comes first. She's going on her cruise in about 8 more days. I can barely go through one day without TALKING to her. She's going for a week. I'll survive though, it's not like she's going forever.

This morning was weird though. I called her and it was like she didn't want to talk to me. Maybe it's me overreacting again, but when I feel something's wrong... I know something's wrong.

Long Day

This morning, I woke up with one thing on my mind, seeing Jessica.
After about 2 days of planning out, this is it, I'm going to see her. Even if she didn't want me to.
Sometimes... you forget how truely beautiful the person you loved is. I stared into her face, her eyes for a good few minutes until she got creeped out, and it just reminded me about why I even fell for her, and why I'm still in love for her.
I love you babe, you have your moments where you can randomly get mad at me or where I would get depressed for no reason at all but its all good... I love you for who you are, not who you can be. You probably still are figuring out why I would love a person like you, but it's simply put... you need a reason to love someone? I can't explain myself why I'm so madly in love with you, but all I know is that I have this strong feeling for you, this feeling that I know this will work out, and this feeling that you are the one.

Laptop here I come.

I haven't gotten my score quite yet.. but ima get that laptop. I gotta get it.. i must get it.

Lately I've been sleeping to her and waking up to her. Probably the best thing in the world...

Not recently till I realized I'm gonna be a senior soon. Gonna have to start applying to colleges, getting a license, getting a REAL job. So much to do and so little time to realize what I gotta do. It's not much of a big deal but at the same time... it's one step further away from spending days walking Jessica to class, days of her trying to find different ways of trying to ask me for food without directly asking (which I have no problem with, I'd rather her not starve D:), and days of walking her to the library to be seperated from her for the next 3-4 hours until we see each other online. I'm taking periods 0-5 next year. There goes chances of walking her to the library. But it's ok. I know we'll last. I know there's no such thing as love at this age... but if it isn't love, what other one word definition could it be?

Tired and Sunburnt

Bonfire yesterday with some of the Viet Students was pretty fun...
My back and shoulders are sunburnt though, oh joy.. x.x
I took some good sun pictures and beach pictures though which kind of lightened the somewhat boring people that were there.
Only people I really hanged out with was Andre, Bao, and Hai. Sat at the beach mostly looking out, was very relaxing.

Then I get a text from my dearly beloved. She told me she's going fishing and that she's at Huntington Beach. I try to find out where she is and see her like a madman. She said she was at life house 4 and I was at 7. So I walked all the way to 4, and then some, anticipating the moment that I'd see her. The only thing I thought about during the walk was her and her smile.
When I got there though, she wasn't there... apparently she moved all the way to the docks. I was determined to keep walking, but was it worth it? I love her and I did believe it was worth it but in the end she wanted me to go back, and so I did.

Woke up to my babycakes this morning as always, boy am I blessed to have her <3